diarynaruto21

Early in the morning, I'm right here, cooking breakfast and yeah, making some new journal entry. Been busy of the schoolwork and the unexpected campaign I need to attend even though I don't want to be an officer of our organization. Hmmm... I'm thinking of new artworks to produce here but unfortunately, there's no idea to meddle with. Just saying...

First day of January 2013! I know some of us are really trying to make things right for this new date and sorting out those resolutions that sometimes are becoming wishes, not an actual solution to a problem. Me too, I don't want to make my plans for this year to be a failure and made sure I can always keep track everything I need to do. Well, time is precious and even though I don't look like a serious and focus person, I always have plans for my future and really trying to make it into reality. 2012 had been rough to me but still I did manage to dive in its strongest flows. More cries and heartaches I've received but I learned many things and discover new ideas. I just wish for more courage and strong heart from Almighty God that He will always guide me to the right path (I know He will )  and help me in making the right decisions may not be always but in those times that needed a true wisdom. *Sigh* Well, this is one of my rare entries in deviantart ( I don't blog anymore due of blog issues) and I hope I could make my entries be more, uh, progressive and could really talk about my moments in the time being. A Happy New year to all and May God Bless us!! See yah!


Note: I also want to make real DA's deviations! hope I could!!

Sometimes, I really hate it when I look at myself ugly and stupid in the mirror. I felt like I'm not worth it to be loved by someone. Especially when I've pictured idle looks of my special someone at me and with disgust. And I also felt I'm too childish for loving him that much. Because of that, I'm too concerned of my appearance and the way I look to other people. But through all this, at the end of the day, I've renewed new respect and contentment on how I look. I'm not that bad.It just that sometimes I lose some confidence on me and I'm the first one to critique and put down myself. I'm too engrossed on how I look in the eyes of other people that I forget how perfectly God created me. My imperfections are my perfections and no one can argue with that. This is me. This is who I am. I never let myself be slate by anyone because of my looks. If they told me I'm ugly, they're ugly too. If that's the way they looked at me, it's because I'm perfect. I'm perfectly made in every inch of my facial expressions;my nose, my cheeks, my eyes, my hair,the way I walk,the way I act,everything. If I need to change anything on me, I think those things would be more on my attitude and behaviour, only those negative characteristics but most of it, NO. This is already me. No one could change that.


But this is not the real deal. I'll end this entry with my latest status posted in fb.

>i'm worthless.
i'm a disgrace discharge that have been created.
i'm sorry if i'm like this.
but you can't blame me for everything I am now.
the world is just too round to revolve nicely on me.
and it's revolving reverse instead.
Pretend? Maybe I'm too much of that.
but this is not pretend. Nor illusion.
because I'm real. and I hate it.<


-diary_naruto